Lessons from a Southerner in D.C.
D.C. is a much different place from Lawrenceville. There are a number of things I've learned while being here...I've compiled a list.
1. Not all secret service men wear black suits...some are dark blue, others pinstriped and I have witnessed one wearing olive green.
2. While being able to speedwalk is not a prerequisite, you better learn fast. Many government employees could challenge Oprah in a foot race.
3. When you get a call in Halethorpe/Arbutus you will have a disgruntled conversation that will last a total of 20 minutes in 1.5 minute intervals.
4. When you want to call a friend back on the train one of three things will happen:
a. The only car with seating available will be the quite car. While on this car you will also receive three other calls, inevitably from people you haven't talked with in months.
b. You will be forced to stand due to your one minute before departure arrival. The place you stand will be near a woman with bronchitis, you will begin to envy and think ungodly thoughts about the woman wearing a face mask. , or
c. You will sit by a someone who unfortunately does not have laryngitis.
5. The escalator has similar rules as the expressway. Two lanes and filled with strangers, some of which have questionable hygiene, the left is the passing lane. The more you ride, the angrier you become with people who don't know these rules, and the more you want to post a sign that says "Slower Traffic Keep Right".
6. No matter what position you hold at the Department of Commerce, when there's an announcement about a going away party with free food, you will still feel compelled to go and bring your friends whether you know the person leaving or not.
7. Every Wednesday is apparently "Free Cuba Day" because that's what the picketers chant outside the Department of Commerce. I've learned the U.S. is not only enforcing a blockade on Cuba but it's also withholding computers. "What do we want?...Free the computers...What also do we want?...End the blockade," is chanted every Wednesday while someone walks around beating on a drum. (It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to walk by without laughing out loud.)
8. To see a woman carrying a Louis Vuitton purse on the Metro is not uncommon, but it's still strange when it's accessorizing their McDonald's uniform.
There are more lessons to be learned, I'll keep you informed.
1. Not all secret service men wear black suits...some are dark blue, others pinstriped and I have witnessed one wearing olive green.
2. While being able to speedwalk is not a prerequisite, you better learn fast. Many government employees could challenge Oprah in a foot race.
3. When you get a call in Halethorpe/Arbutus you will have a disgruntled conversation that will last a total of 20 minutes in 1.5 minute intervals.
4. When you want to call a friend back on the train one of three things will happen:
a. The only car with seating available will be the quite car. While on this car you will also receive three other calls, inevitably from people you haven't talked with in months.
b. You will be forced to stand due to your one minute before departure arrival. The place you stand will be near a woman with bronchitis, you will begin to envy and think ungodly thoughts about the woman wearing a face mask. , or
c. You will sit by a someone who unfortunately does not have laryngitis.
5. The escalator has similar rules as the expressway. Two lanes and filled with strangers, some of which have questionable hygiene, the left is the passing lane. The more you ride, the angrier you become with people who don't know these rules, and the more you want to post a sign that says "Slower Traffic Keep Right".
6. No matter what position you hold at the Department of Commerce, when there's an announcement about a going away party with free food, you will still feel compelled to go and bring your friends whether you know the person leaving or not.
7. Every Wednesday is apparently "Free Cuba Day" because that's what the picketers chant outside the Department of Commerce. I've learned the U.S. is not only enforcing a blockade on Cuba but it's also withholding computers. "What do we want?...Free the computers...What also do we want?...End the blockade," is chanted every Wednesday while someone walks around beating on a drum. (It is becoming increasingly difficult for me to walk by without laughing out loud.)
8. To see a woman carrying a Louis Vuitton purse on the Metro is not uncommon, but it's still strange when it's accessorizing their McDonald's uniform.
There are more lessons to be learned, I'll keep you informed.
posted by Becky at 9:54 PM
2 Comments:
you are too funny.
Becky-
What is the deal with the computers and Cuba??? This is pretty funny. Speaking of Louis Vuitton's on McDonald employees, apparently all federally confiscated goods, such as the fake Vuitton's, Prada's, and Gucci's, are now being given to victims of Hurricane Katrina. Hmmmm...... All I can say is "interesting."
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